Off the grid


Every morning (well Monday to Friday) I line up at the tram stop, see these same faces, and wait to board the tram to take me to work. Every face waiting for the tram tells the same story – It’s too early. Its too cold. And who could be fucked?

Except one particular morning. This one particlar morning, there was a face I had not seen before. It was of a man lying on the footpath. He was laid out in the sun enjoying its warm rays, whilst watching us all wait for the tram like a herd of sheep being led to the slaughterhouse. He laid there, in the sun’s warmth with a smug smile on his face. He was too well groomed and too well dressed to be homeless. Why was this fucker smiling? Why the fuck wasn’t he going to work like the rest of us suckers? And then it dawned on me. The smug motherfucker was off the grid.

Off the grid. What is this ‘off the grid’ you speak of? Good fucking question. Well there’s 2 types of off the grid..
1/ No job. No income. No home. No life. Homeless… or..
B/ No work. Disposable income. Has a home. A great life. Dead set legend.

A mate at work and I speak about option B a lot. When I say a lot. I mean every fucking day. Surely there is more to life than waking up early, five of the seven days of the week, just to make a wage, and really.. just to make some other fucker a rich fuck.. and basically, just wait for the weekend. Same shit. Different week. Day in, day out. Nothing fucking changes. I fucking hate Monday. Hate Tuesday. Hate Wednesday. Thursday is getting better? (but deep down, still fucking hate it). Love Friday. Well, Friday at 5 that is. (Friday at 5 is the best moment in the whole week.. why? cos its the furthest fucking point from having to return to fucking work again). Love a fucking Saturday. Love Sunday..  and cry Sunday night. Then repeat… Kill me. Kill me now.

This could have been a lot different. In life, you basically have 2 choices. You can live to work. Or you can work to live. I chose the latter. You know those people who rave on about how they love their jobs? They have these interesting jobs that they cannot shut the fuck up about?.. I hate these fucking people. Go away and die. I cruised (not surprisingly) through high school doing the absolute bare minimum, not really caring about anything except what was happening after school and/or on the weekend. And now I’m stuck in some, (granted, reasonably paying and highly rewarding, but ultimately) very monotonous sales job. I could seriously, wake up tomorrow and be fifty.

Why the hell do they keep insisting on fucking with our Monday to Fridays??!!

If only they had  mentioned this to me when I was a kid, I would’ve never had fucking signed up. First you’re a baby. Then you’re a toddler. Your monday to friday was an extension of the weekend. Then you go to school. And this is when they start fucking with your monday to fridays. Not as extreme as now I must admit, but that’s where it begins. School. This is when you begin to realize that your monday to friday will never ever be the same. The reason you go to school is so you can prepare yourself for the next step in life.. Work. This is the moment where your monday to fridays are never ever the same, ever the fuck again. Yeah I realize that some people work weekends, night shifts, 3 days on, 3 days off, 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off,  have RDOs (my personal favourite. my housemate is a tradie… fuck RDOs!), work overtime, part-time, from home, online, on the road, interstsate, overseas, blah blah blah whatevs.. But it all comes down to one thing, you still have to clock on and fucking work..

This is exactly what school was about. Monday to Friday you’re at school. You have the weekend off. And holidays. This occurs from ages 4 or 5 all the way to about 16, 17 and 18 (depending on circumstance)..Then you fuck around for a few years. During this semi-free period (and probably one of the best parts) of your life, some people get apprenticeships. Some get scholarships. Sponsorships. Internships.  Some get diplomas. Some get Degrees. Some get doctorates. Some.. (present company included).. don’t get shit.

And then you work. Depending on what you were able to ‘get’ in those years you were fucking around.. some work.. granted, is definitely much better than others. But no matter what; your monday to fridays are forever fucked. Yeah-yeah some people work weekends, night shifts, 3 days on, 3 days off,overtime, part-time, from home, online.. I fucking get it. But your freedom is still set by a clock. Your hours have been set. Just like, when you were at school. You were free from the hours between’ish/three-thirtyish – when the bell rings to go home.. Till about 830ish/9am’ish – when the bell rings, and you have to fucking go back again. And, you’re free all weekend. And you get holidays 4 times a year.

This is your freedom time. This is your small scale ‘off the grid’ time. This is the time that counts. Not your stupid monday to friday nine to five.. or whatever hours you’ve happened to set for yourself… This is the time that matters. During this time you do what you want. All the important things that matter in life. Spend time with the fam. Hang out with friends. Fall in love. Fall Out of love. Get married. Have kids. Take a trip. Eat out. Eat in. Go Interstate. Go overseas. Play sport. Play music. Play video games. See a play. Watch a film. Watch porn. Party. Get Pissed… whatevs. Do whatever the fuck you want.This is your freedom time.This is what matters.This is the real time. BUT.. just be sure you are back between those set hours. And just like at school, your personality and behaviour, between these set hours is much much different than when you’re on real time. Have you noticed how much different you act on real time? than when you’re on the clock? Its astonishing how much your behaviour changes. I bet, as soon as people clock off, they’re like “oi cunt fuck, fuck cunt”… okay. Too far? Im sorry. That was an extremely bad example. My apologies.. But you get my point yeah?

Yeah?.. ummmm.. I don’t even know the point I was trying to make anymore…

Oh yeah, that’s right..

Fuck you monday, you cunt fuck.

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