You all know the song. The Aussie classic, that will undoubtedly always get a play at your local watering hole on a Friday night. You also, all undoubtedly know the lyrics. And without hesitation sing along every time. You’re also legless, and dancing like a spastic at this stage.
“Jessie’s Girl! I wish I had Jessie’s Girl!”
You sing the lyrics. With beer in hand, a half-cocked eye, and spit careening through your slur. The lyrics you know by heart, and you never miss a beat.
But, did you ever take the time to listen to the words?
Well 2.0 did. And let me tell you, Rick Springfield is all kinds of fucked up. (we listen to Goldies at work, it was just after the new year. work was slow).
The song is about Rick Springfield’s crush on his, supposed, good mate’s missus. Stop there. That’s already fucked up. You may admire or find attractive, the respective wags of your crew. But you definitely are not telling anyone. Let alone penning a song and telling the whole world about it.
So I began to ponder the motives Tricky Ricky had when writing this song. And I can only come to one conclusion. Rick Springfield is a jerk.
Let’s pretend that this song was based on actual events. Here’s Rick. Secretly yearning for his mate, Jessie’s missus. Thinking to himself – Hmmmm how? How do I do this? How do I make her mine? Hmmm. Let me think. Well.. I am Rick Springfield. Perhaps I should write a song about her? And then broadcast it to millions around the world. Yes!! That should win her over. I shall title it: Jessie my good friend, I’m about to cut your motherfucking lunch (working title).
What a jerk.
If this was indeed the case, then there are two likely scenarios to come of this.
1/ The song fucking worked. The catchy tune quckly became a world wide success. And with all of Dick’s new fame, and the subsequent glitz and glamour, Jessie’s Girl has actually left poor old Jessie, and is now Rick’s girl (gold digging whore).
or.. the most likely outcome..
B/ Jessie’s Girl has called Rick a creep, proceeded to bitchslap him (granted and deserved), and Jessie has kicked the living shit out of Dicky (again, granted and deserved). The two get married. Have a beautiful family. Grow them up in the outer suburbs of Melbourne. Live happily ever after… And Rick, after penning such a great track, is still alone. Heart still yearning.. and now, he’s also managed to lose his best mate.
Although.. the song did hit no 1 on the Billboard charts shortly after it was released in 1981, launching a long and illustrous career, where Dick made millions in fortune, travelled the world, and gained millions of fans to satisfy his every whim.
Whilst Jessie and his girl raise their family in Frankston..
So in the end.. who exactly wins?